Heavy Winds and Rain with a Slight Chance of Rapture

30 Oct

As many of you know, I am from Massachusetts and somehow ended up in the state of Tennessee.  While currently attending the University of Tennessee Knoxville, the majority of my family is in Massachusetts. Why is this random tidbit important? Because my Facebook is blown up with posts about Hurricane Sandy, so you all are going to get a weather forecast on what is happening in the Northeast.

I am sure it comes of no surprise to any of you how out of control news updates can become when an event such as a super-storm wreaks havoc on part of the country. Similar to the outrageous claims currently being made about the election, Hurricane Sandy comes with just as much baggage.

Not to discredit any major damage that this storm has caused, but from whenever a catastrophic weather becomes headline news people go too far when explaining the causes for such disasters. From what I have seen throughout my social platforms, people have gone so far as to pin this on God as well as the government. Personally, I blame Jersey Shore and the NHL Lockout. Head to your bomb shelters and stock up with preservatives because Sandy is here and she’s heard of our sins.

SPOILER ALERT: The following sentence contains a Mean Girls quote. (Although, if you don’t recognize this quote you are probably living under a rock with no means to read this blog anyhow.)

On the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. According to this source, Sandy has the same motives.

Currently the forecast calls for heavy winds and rain, with a slight chance of rapture. As for me, I’m hoping for this huge snow storm that’s apparently headed towards Tennessee (like that’s gonna happen). For those of you braving the storm and power outages, know that Facebook and Twitter can wait. The world will get to see your post-apocalyptic hurricane posts another day.

On a serious note, keep those in mind who are enduring the worst of the storm. I know that if my sister stops posting political statuses on Facebook I will start praying, because at that point Sandy must have reached her worst.

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One Response to “Heavy Winds and Rain with a Slight Chance of Rapture”

  1. blahblah October 30, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t 1. Stupid Sandy.

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